Why women have extramarital affairs?
Speak about a loaded topic that no one wants to chat about, this is it. Amusing thing, extramarital affairs have been going on since ancient times. Extramarital affairs can be fraught with troubles, cause heartache, and other harms. Plus you have to wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness matter, finances, age dissimilarity, religious background, shame, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I should define an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating married men.
Why do women have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seek affair. I suppose mostly though it is only the human nature, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
In nature we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us escape the real world for a small period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people are able to switch the wish on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another being, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos society has erected against extra-marital affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will beat their worries and make them risk the anger of not only their relatives, but society as well. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is very good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not harm your relatives or anybody else? You will need to reduce the danger you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the largest group, gigantic really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they feel comfy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the children to look after. Your assets are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their spouse. An extramarital affair at times solves the problem while keeping the marriage whole.
Avoidance, sorrowfully this is a frequent reason I fear. One or the other, generally the gentleman is sexually neglecting his lady for a number of reasons. As a man I really appreciate you guys neglecting your ladies and making them accessible to us guys of romance, making them “milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, could be compassion is disappeared, maybe it is the closeness, could be neglect. Maybe we have just grown separately, our common interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is contradictory of what you want. Could be I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for financial gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.